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January 6th, 2009
07:37 pm
Yeah, I'm surprised I haven't deleted this thing yet. I only really use it to watch and comment on ljsecret.
Blah.
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December 5th, 2008
01:10 am
God, it's so hard to lose a loved one.
Mitchell Simmons was the type of guy who constantly had a smile on his face. A lot of the times he came across very shy, at least when I first met him. We were all at Olive Garden for Caitlin, Megan, and Laura Beth's 17th birthday celebration, and Heather had been talking about this guy she'd been "talking to". "He's really sweet", she'd said, "And way adorable. You might know him? Mitchell Simmons...Wayne's little brother?" I told her I hadn't, and I didn't know Wayne from a guy walking down the street, for that matter. "I'm excited to meet him", I'd said, sincerely. He hadn't said much at all...he actually had spent the whole meal looking a little petrified, as we were all kind of loud and obnoxious when we were together. Me, Kallie, and Mitchell were all at the end of the table, sharing awkward jokes amongst the chatter of the couples (which was weird seeing as how he was there with someone) and I forget who had said what, but then we just started cracking up. And there was that smile.
That smile was a little staple of my life as Mitchell had dated Heather. He came "with the territory", if that doesn't sound too weird. It's kind of like a never ending story, you know, the people that you interact with. They're all vital characters in a small way. Megan, Caitlin, LB, and Heather made up so much of my life throughout high school, and those intertwined with them intertwined with me. I was always hearing about the little quirks between him and Heather, how he made fun of her huge appetite, how he took care of her, the funny things he'd said. How we'd all sit in a big group maybe before a volleyball game, just talking and enjoying each others company. I smile when I think about junior prom, and how Heather and I traded partners and I got a dance with him. That's one memory I'll keep with me. But it wasn't just Heather. Megan and Mitchell were amazingly close friends, and I heard my fair share of their wacky conversations that kept them going through anatomy class of my senior year. Caitlin and I would visit the baseball field before our softball games, and it would never fail. Al and Kihm, sometimes with a little Mitchell mixed in. Even if he wasn't always a big part of the conversation, at least in my interaction with him, he was a calming presence. He was always close by in my path through the last two years of school- saying hi to him before he said good-bye to Sarah before band class was a welcome routine during senior year. They made the picture perfect couple. It was just a pleasant time. I don't think I'll ever think of a memory with Mitchell in it that isn't happy.
That all being said, Mitchell and I couldn't be considered "close" by most standards, and I'll be the first to admit it. I don't want in any way to take away from the pain that those much more closer than I are feeling....sure, he was my friend, but for others, he was SO much more, and I regret not having him closer in my life. He was always there, an AMAZING boyfriend to two of the people I interacted with on a daily basis, one a best friend, one a friend I've known since elementary school. He was such a good friend to one of the closest people I've ever had to me in my life, and I thank him for every day she managed to come away from ANATOMY of all classes with a new story and a smile on her face. And because of how he treated the other people who make up my life, I thank Mitchell for the times when those people were feeling their best, because it rubbed off on me too.
Megan, Heather, Kallie and I spent a couple of hours at Famous Anthony's on tuesday night, reminiscing about the things we'll remember about Mitchell. I shared my favorite memory, which was based off of a little "message" I left him with Heather that one day at Laura Beth's(you know what I mean, H ;) ). And then I sat back and listened to story after story. They continue to have so much love for him. It calmed me to see how love still works. And it's strong, so strong, and even if you had no idea of him or who he was, hearing those two talk would make anyone love Mitchell. It would've been impossible not to.
Mitchell Simmons was an amazing person.He lived the way any person should want to, with a good outlook, a kind presence, and most importantly, strong faith. His family should be more than proud of how they raised him. And as cliche as it may sound, I can feel that it's a little bit brighter up there. I think all of us can feel it. Thanks for everything Mitchell...we miss you.
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November 5th, 2008
10:53 pm - Yes, we did.
I never believed that I would get a chance to make a difference, but I did. I believed in a candidate who is not only charismatic, but intelligent and compassionate to boot. And America chose to believe in him, too.
The last election, my sister and I were called 'faggots' for choosing to back a democratic president. Throughout the years, we've been ridiculed for choosing to explore all options of a debate, and for being unafraid to voice our opinions. I've been called names ranging from an atheist, a faggot, a heathen, an abortionist, and more, simply because I chose to have an open mind and take the opinions of all people into mind when debating. And just last night...it all changed for me.
Virginia went blue.
I made a difference. My vote... my vote actually counted.
What an amazing feeling, to come so far and still have exponential amount of growth left.
Change I Can Believe in... now actually has the full chance to be Change I Believed In and Saw Happen.
Amazing.
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August 16th, 2008
01:10 am
12 days until I move into college.
Go Michael Phelps in the Olympics.
More later maybe.
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July 20th, 2008
July 7th, 2008
01:11 am
I've had it with a lot of things going on right now.
I had like two paragraphs written out but the more I read it the more it frustrated me. Whatever.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/grumpy_sr.gif) annoyed
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June 29th, 2008
05:38 pm - Look at me, look at me...I am changing
I think growth is one of the most important things someone can have in their lives. If people always stayed where they started, the world would be in a sorrier state of affairs then it already is, which would be a scary thing. Anyway.
I am 17 years old, and I am a high school graduate.
( Come so far )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/awake_sr.gif) pleased
Current Music: Homecoming- Kanye West ft. Chris Martin
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June 15th, 2008
05:29 pm - Eff you, TomTom!
Senior trip '08 was a great success.
( Lollipop )
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June 9th, 2008
10:06 pm - Sidewalks, running away from the streets we knew
I'm a high school graduate...whoooooot!
That's pretty exciting. I don't really know how to gauge what I feel but it's been a long, weird year. I'm going on a little Busch Gardens/Water Country USA trip with my friends and idk it's just weird. I don't feel any different as a person as far as freshman year to now. Meh..the words just aren't coming right now like I'd want them to be. More later.
Anyway I just saw Ruiz in a teeny little montage on Nashville Star...we're only a few minutes into it so we'll see if there's more.
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April 24th, 2008
10:27 pm
"Welcome to the real world", she said to me
Condescendingly
Take a seat
Take your life
Plot it out in black and white
Well I never lived the dreams of the prom kings
And the drama queens
I'd like to think the best of me
Is still hiding
Up my sleeve
They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
just to lie you've got to rise above
So the good boys and girls take the so called right track
Faded white hats
Grabbing credits
Maybe transfers
They read all the books but they can't find the answers
And all of our parents
They're getting older
I wonder if they've wished for anything better
While in their memories
Tiny tragedies
They love to tell you
Stay inside the lines
But something's better
On the other side
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just a lie you got to rise above
I am invincible
As long as I'm alive
I wanna run through the halls of my high school
I wanna scream at the
Top of my lungs
I just found out there's no such thing as the real world
Just to lie you've got to rise above
I just can't wait til my 10 year reunion
I'm gonna bust down the double doors
And when I stand on these tables before you
You will know what all this time was for
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April 5th, 2008
12:27 am - Know when to hold them, know when to fold them
I hate...things. I hate people who change, and not for the better. I hate restrictions. I hate feeling so exhausted.
Softball has been very surprising to me this year. We beat the 3x state champs 1-0, only to have them come back and beat us next time 3-2. We lost to Gretna 6-1 and came back and beat them 1-0. Liberty, the supposed 'team to beat' barely managed and come back to beat us 3-2, bottom of the seventh. And yet we lose 3-1 to the worst team in the district. Ugh. We need better offense. For real. For real. FOR REAL.
It's my last 9 weeks of high school. Kind of interesting. Today after school Caitlin and I just went down on the steps just above the lake and talked...it was refreshing. We want to do that more once softball lets out. School's just a drag. I barely did anything of any sort of use and ended up getting straight A's [pretty sure, anyway] the third 9 weeks, which isn't really boding well for school...I mean, I'm in honors classes and everything and how is it that I can get a 97% in AP Gov when I didn't even really understand or care what we were talking about? I did all the work, sure, but whatever. We had to do that stupid senior project, I got a 99% on it so I guess I don't fail at life but who's grading, anyway?
American Idol is pretty cool this year. My favorites are David Archuleta, Carly Smithson, and Jason Castro. David Cook's pretty good but I wish he could sing a song straight for once in his life instead of screwing with every arrangement. Michael John's got an amazing voice but I get this weird vibe from him, like, how you can look at someone and they're hot and nice but you secretly know they're a child molester or something? Idk. Mom loves him and his accent and his singing so she didn't bother to try and get what I meant.
I'm just tired of things. I'm exhausted. Now I need to go to sleep because I have to wake up at 8:00 tomorrow for softball practice. Awesome.
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March 7th, 2008
09:02 pm - Good morning, Belle
14 years is an awfully long life for a dog, especially a purebred golden retriever. And it was a very, very good 14 years for Belle.
( The story )
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/sad_sr.gif) sad
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February 26th, 2008
09:42 pm
I LOVE DAVID ARCHULETA
I LOVE DAVID ARCHULETA
I LOVE DAVID ARCHULETA
multiply that by 3094793270327594375432759843275-4327543275974325974325894326532185642
and jason castro and david hernandez are pretty sweet i'm not gonna lie
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February 22nd, 2008
11:06 am
No ice, no school = rofl.
Why can't I graduate but go to college with all my friends?
Softball starts monday. I am so not in shape.
In other news, I have caught the death. Just in case you wanted to know.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/sick_sr.gif) sick
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February 11th, 2008
12:23 pm - "If I don't make it I love you"- times of desperation, I sound crazy
Ugh, my power finally came back on at 10:30 after it'd been out since 3 on Sunday...I'm grateful for it being back especially since it wasn't supposed to be back until about midnight, tuesday. As in almost wednesday. I'm still freezing though, my house isn't even back to 60 yet.
Eh, it embarrasses me to look back at my entry from the other day, I get emo way too much. Poor emo kid, like Shawn informs me. But yeah.
My friend Casey added me on myspace today, I'm kind of glad I never deleted it. Me, Brooke, and Casey, we used to be best friends in elementary school, Brooke and Casey by default since they're cousins, but Casey and I were inseparable. We'd go to her humongous house, jump on her trampoline, sit in her jacuzzi, stay up all night, sing destiny's child and nsync, eat spaghetti-o's, watch nickelodeon..it was good times. It makes me kind of sad to think about it...I see her in school sometimes but the most we ever exchange is a smile or a 'hey', but nothing else really. How can you go from being such a good friends to nothing? Distance changes people I guess, we didn't talk much after we went to different schools in 5th grade.
But oh well. If either one of us wanted it bad enough, we could've kept up with it. It just goes to show you've really gotta work for that kind of stuff.
I'm out for now, my fingers are freezing.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/cold_sr.gif) cold
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February 3rd, 2008
01:00 am - Echo, echo, we come, we go
Ah. It's so amazing to me how many highs and lows there can be in a day, a week, a month, a year, a lifetime. And it's like you spend so many weeks and such at rock bottom but when you pull yourself out of the hole it's so much more worth it.
I hope my stay at the top continues for awhile.
Last night..or should I say Friday night since it's technically Sunday...
Friday night was very fun. No school, so I got to chill for awhile. I love that I've had so many days off this year. It makes me so much less stressed out then I have been. But yeah, got ready and went to the boys basketball game. Even though Satan was there it was still fun. Then we went to Mickey D's and bowling, and back to Megan's.
Life fact #1:
Jamie sucks at bowling. [I'm not sure if this is a surprising fact or not.]
Life fact #2:
Jamie loves her best friends [This should not be a surprise.]
Life fact #3:
Megan and Kacy could not be any cuter if they tried [!!!!!!!!!!!!]
It's just exciting. You get excited for your friends when they're happy. YOU'RE happy if they are. And it's just fun. And idk. Just little things make me happy right now. Even with the thought of the whole high school chapter of my life ending in just 4 months, I'm having a blast living it out. At Megan's when Heather was pranking someone, it was relaxing to look back and realize how great my friends are.
And I hope that they stay that way. Because I would hate myself if I ended up looking like a douche, just like in a movie when they're like "I'm riding high" and then their house gets repossessed and stuff. I'm just expressing that I'm happy. No ego involved.
Current Location: Computadora
Current Music: Keys clicky clicking
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January 25th, 2008
04:38 pm - Whatcha waiting for!?
Today was a decent day. I always have a certain dread for b-days and then end up fine.
In first we talked about the lamest thing ever, it's our senior project we have to do in order to graduate, but it's not for a grade. So basically I can write "I am a poophead" in EVERY SINGLE BOX and as long as I throw in some numbers and whatnot, I'll graduate. It has to do with learning about short and long term goals and taxes and real life things, because a book with generalizations helps us a lot better than learning from friends and family. Nicely done.
Second was yearbook, I drafted the template for our ad pages and talked to my best! Yay.
In band Daniel thought that Hulk Hogan and the Incredible Hulk were interchangeable, and we had to inform him that Hulk Hogan was in fact a wrestler from "WWF" times, not a gigantic green beast.
And strength was awesome, Caitlin went off on Shrews and it was the highlight of my day.
I'm glad that I'm having days that are more enjoyable, because even though I hate schoolwork and stuff, I get to look back and be like 'man we had some fun times'. In the end that's what matters most to me.
But anywho, must go wash my hair because I'm going to Megan's swim meet! I am so excited!!
Current Mood: okay
Current Music: Generator- Foo Fighters
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January 23rd, 2008
02:43 pm - Slow, but eventually they get there
Meh, I'm not even sure why I'm bothering to write, for one no one reads this anymore, for two I haven't written in forever, and three, nothing I write will ever be very interesting.
Realization hits you sometimes when you least expect it. You avoid listening to that cheesy Vitamin C song and then you listen to it your senior year and it makes you horribly sad and depressed. You wake up on the first day of school and realize it's your last. You sniff the smell of cleaning supplies in the hallway to the bandroom and you realize how much you're gonna miss it. And sometimes you sit and you take a good look at your friends, people you've forged relationships with, who, essentially, you've given a piece of yourself to, over time, with love and hate and confusion...you're them and they're you. And you think, "Hey, am I actually going to see them again?" You've spent your whole life putting effort in to a thing that most people say fizzles out after you turn to a new chapter. But in books, characters continue on from chapter to chapter. Why can't it be like that in real life? Is it wrong for me to try to be optimistic? To think, "You are a funny, bright, beautiful person, and one of my favorite people and things in the whole word. I want you to be with me, to be around to see what boys I go through, to be in my wedding, for our kids to grow up and go to the same school and raise hell together." Is that too fairytale of me? At the very least, I'd expect weekly contact of some sort. And yet people keep reminding you that you're not supposed to see these people ever again. Why? Why do I have to look at people and say, "Well, they were best friends in high school and now they barely know each other." My best friends are family to me, too. I wouldn't spend four years away from my sister and then be like "Oh. Well, I've moved on and so have you." You're attracted to these people for a reason. They shape you and mold you, more than most people in your life. You've made decisions based on their opinions. And even with time and distance, you can't make it work? Is it such a weak bond to begin with, that you're just supposed to snap it off. Sure, life pulls us in different directions. But there's always that feeling of home, isn't it? I think I can make it last if others try. They can try. The will try.
And yet it's doomed, according to the world.
I don't know. It's horrifying to think of to me, and at the same time I can't wait to go to college, experience new things, meet new people. But I don't want to ever forget about those who meant so much to me. Is it a life rule that I have to?
It just sucks.
Current Mood: ![[mood icon]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/mood/moonsis/stars/red/pensive_sr.gif) nostalgic
Current Music: Who Needs Shelter- Jason Mraz
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August 1st, 2007
11:26 pm - You've got to be kidding
I'm going to wax poetic about reality tv for god's sake.
I really want opinions on this first one.
I watch Big Brother, and yesterday's episode was amusing to me. In the Power of Veto competition, a game that gives the winner a chance to alter the nominations for evictions, the houseguests pull balls out of a bag with either someone's name or "Houseguest's choice". One girl got pulled, and told us that "If her name is pulled from the bag, it's a sign from God that she is supposed to play to her best ability to take that nominee off the block." She also believes that God has pre-determined the winner of Big Brother, and whoever wins won because of that, and the houseguests are just supposed to flow with it.
Is it just me, or is it just a crock of crap to say that? I believe in God, but by no means do I think in the slightest that he really cares/has an impact on a reality TV SHOW. And sure, you can pray to maybe sway your decision on a vote or something if you find comfort, but I'm pretty sure God has better things to do than keep watch over a game show. But maybe that's just me.
Secondly, I don't know if anyone watches So You Think You Can Dance on my flist, but tonight's Mia Michaels choreography was probably the most beautiful, upsetting dance I've ever seen in my life. She explained that it was a kind of concept on her meeting her father in heaven, her father that died of cancer two years ago. It was done by two of my favorite dances and it was seriously everything I've already said. Tomorrow, you should look on YouTube and see if you can find it, it's well worth a watch.
That's all.
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July 21st, 2007
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